~frenz are precious....treasure tem carefully!~

2010-02-23T22:04:00.002+08:00

下一站，幸福! <3
last episode coming up yeah?
and there's...

终极三国!
think last episode also
finally getting exciting again after all the draggy episodes!

2010-02-20T01:16:00.002+08:00

huhu!
blog revived!
but i dunnoe how long i can survive though
decided to change blogskin but i bet this one is super common
too bad i'm too lazy!
Anyway life has been boring! =.=
okayy too long never blog so dunnoe what to blog
hopefully people will start to realise this blog is not so abandoned yet!

2009-10-08T18:36:00.001+08:00

i feel terrible, totally
how am i so to survive the rest of the days?
just can't stop blaming myself for what has happened
i wish im not who i am

2009-08-28T16:12:00.000+08:00

you know what
i think i'm really giving up hope already
no matter how much i tell myself i must work hard to save friendships that were so stagnant
all signs point to the fact that noone cares a damn about the 'lost' friendship with me
and i'm saying this so out loud becoz i really can't take it anymore
it's really hurting to see it so evident in front of my eyes

2009-08-20T21:43:00.000+08:00

you know what
i finally realised its not all my fault
yes, partly mine, i didn't put in much effort
but i don't see any from you all either
iwunderifyouallevenrememberediexisted

2009-08-18T18:57:00.001+08:00

water retention
kidney, liver, too much salt

i wonder which one is it
either one is bad

maybsometimesitsreallynotmyfault?

2009-08-09T02:46:00.000+08:00

me: i'm stressed
mum: you're not the only one that is stressed everyone else is too
dad: go ask your frenz how they handle luh don't be shy

i know you're trying to give advice
sometimes
i just need words of encouragement

iseenopointinblogging
butihavenooneelsetoturntoalready

2009-07-17T13:49:00.001+08:00

sometimes i really wish i was someone else

2009-07-17T12:39:00.001+08:00

omg love this as much! (:(:

2009-07-17T12:37:00.000+08:00

love it (:

2009-07-12T02:05:00.002+08:00

cant wait for harry potter and the half-blood prince!!
seriously seriously hope it won't be a disappointment like harry potter and the order of pheonix

i wonder why some people can act so differently in front of different groups of people

i wonder why only special arrangements and things are done for selective people
i'm glad i chose not to
i shouldnt have been so nice to feel bad

2009-06-28T13:27:00.002+08:00

shouldn't be blogging at such a time
but owells anyway i'm not in the mood to study for the time being
feeling bored shessh =X
but anyways as usual i've done lots of thinking heh
and i guessed i've been enlightened quite alot
hopefully i can find the courage to make changes
i know i can't save the past
it's too late already
i don't regret what i've done
i only regret what i didn't do
hopefully from now on, everything will be better ... ?

to all the people that i care about out there
i'll cherish you always and forever
no matter what happened between us before good,bad
doesn't really matter now
life's too short to hate
i don't want to let people that have meant so much to me slip through again
really hope for courage to take action
hopefully everything'll be fine =?

this is art, according to Ms Kim XD

2009-06-26T00:31:00.002+08:00

sometimes
i regret doing the things i've done
i regret not doing the things that i should have done
but i think its too late to save the situation of the past
i can only work hard and make sure i dun do/think like that again!!

and why am i here!
should be studying! but owells so screwed hahah
anw its not As ppl just try your best and well, study harder for As (:

shit i really hate prison break its such a keep-you-at-the-edge-of-your-seat thriller
but it cheated my feelings i thought there would be a happy ending today shitzzz ZZ hahaha

2009-06-07T22:07:00.001+08:00

sometimes i feel as though i'm all alone
all alone is this battle against life itself

do you mean what you really say?
if you don't
then i dun tink it should be said in the first place

2009-06-07T11:02:00.001+08:00

i hate me, myself and I

imustbethemostimperfectgirlever

2009-06-05T23:08:00.001+08:00

GG luh!
addicted to this song already!!
haha introduced by dearest brenda
but no worries i only like the song
won't snatch him away from you lah brenda! hahaha

2009-06-02T21:47:00.002+08:00

its so ironic
so ironic when at a point of time
a person is feeling a certain way
and you try to symphatise with him/her and try to be there
then after he/she recovers
you realise you're not of any importance already
or
when a person is feeling a certain way and rants alot about it
and after everything you dun see him/her doing what he/she was actually complaining about
ironic
i tried to tell you before
i tried to say what i felt
but you din treat it seriously
you just say oh yah sometimes i also feel like that
fullstop no more
but you're already inside, you're already part of them

sometimes
only when you really undergo something
can you truly and fully understand how someone that went through it felt

i'm really confused with what i'm feeling
and i dun noe who to tell

why can't i get accepted as who i really am
do i really have to change to fit into the people in this stupid society?
change to a person that is not me
change to a person that is shaped by the people around
i personally find it disgusting seriously
and i tink at least i do my best
to try to accept everyone for who they are
yes i noe i still gossip/bitch/bastard
but i duno part of me still pities (but i dun tink i'll do anything LOL)

whatever
it doesnt matter if i vanished from this world anyway

2009-06-02T19:36:00.002+08:00

was hell in a bad mood today
totally
for those who felt my wrath
i'm really sorry
just let me be like that for once
i'll be ok tml (:

and i wanna study!
like seriously sit down and MUG
but you now the feeling of lagging behind so much u dun really noe where to start from?
yea something like that

2009-05-28T21:49:00.002+08:00

jap version hana yori dango has such a sweet story
while boys over flowers have such cute guys
omg how to resist?
haha
another unproductive day
but it's okay, coz it made me feel guilty and hopefully
i'm geared up for a hard one month and long/short way to go to As

2009-05-26T21:56:00.002+08:00

http://redsports.sg/2009/05/25/vjc-mjc-football-3/

we didn't say VJ go fly kite it was just a just a cheer!

but its okay
we know in our hearts what ms lai said this morning is very true and that's all it matters

anw thursday is a holiday!
yay!

i'm not as weak as you think i am
sometimes giving in is not a signal of weakness

2009-05-25T23:11:00.001+08:00

dun put your 100% in a relationship
coz sumtimes the other party just aint giving the same

anw i thought i've changed but one things still remains the same
i'm still so sensitive! lol XD

2009-05-16T02:01:00.002+08:00

cala's blog is so musical!
so i shall blog something musical too!
been watching boys over flowers recently
i so love erm if im not wrong his name is yi joong but im not sure
the one that knows how to make pottery
he's soooo cuteee! haha
okay anws i love the songs inside too
below is a video of the piano version of one of the songs
and i tink the pianist is like awesome!
she played that by EAR omg luh!
i wan the scores! hahaha
enjoy! XD

2009-05-14T21:36:00.001+08:00

this is so hypocritical
what a hypocritical world we live it
talk about being more bonded and not so seperated
but in the process you left others out
how many times did we tried to ask you ppl
how many times did we try to call you ppl
and you just ignored
having such a happy time youself
erm did you ppl like forgot something?

talk about doing what you preach

2009-05-13T21:12:00.002+08:00

2 setbacks together at once
life couldn't get any better
it's tiring trying to wait for that email and everytime being hopeful that it will appear everytime i check my inbox and getting disappointed
the thought of seeing a F/Ungraded grade on my Alvl cert is equally disappointed
i know i have myself to blame
for not working hard
for not starting early
for even starting the stupid course in the first place
i know that it doesn't matter
all i have to do now
is work hard for the rest of my main subjects
and score straight As to compensate the ugly U/F
but it's so much easier said then done
and please dun say i wun get U/F
i took the exam
i noe how i fared

maybe it's a sign
a sign for me to start working hard
a sign for me to not take too much things for granted
and also
a challenge
that God arranged

hmm duno
whatever
=(

2009-05-11T16:05:00.001+08:00

i couldnt stop the tears from flowing...

2009-05-11T11:04:00.002+08:00

just let me fail lah
i have no confidence
no hope
no motivation
coz i know i'm not gonna succeed starting so late
regret
regret not dropping it
regret being so stupid to think i can achieve this
regret thinking i may actually make it while there are so many smarter ppl out there

ungraded shall be one of the grades on my Alvl cert!

2009-05-01T11:49:00.002+08:00

sometimes when you're tired
you would wish that there's someone there for you to lean back on

i thought i could
i thought i tried
but i guess i can't
that's just me
something extra

2009-05-01T11:37:00.002+08:00

omg i tink i caught the flu!
what if its the SWINE FLU O.o
anyways
yesterday marks the first day without council
it felt
weird
going for morning run but there's no need to chiong for morning assembly
wearing uniform while the top left side of the blouse felt so empty
i tink we all need time to get use to this new life - being a normal MJ student
anyways watch the soccer match mj vs ac yesterday
i don't want to comment
damnit angry
like seriously wth
but it's okay
i'll always support MJ's soccer team! (:

hmm enough of slacking
i need to catch up with my work!

i gave you a second chance
but this is how you treat me
you've lost my trust

it's not the food
you guys just don't understand

2009-04-29T21:08:00.002+08:00

29th April 2009
council term has officially ended
i didn't cry today
but sitting up on stage hearing the video being played, i was close to tears
despite all the shit (no offence)
i still thank council, each and everyone of you
for letting me learn alot of things
for letting me experience what the real world will be like
for letting me know the great and nice ppl/friends
despite everything, it has been a fufilling journey
i also thank God for letting me have such a good mentor
thank you qian wen
your msg really touched me
it was you, who made me hang on to continue this journey
it was you, that thought me and showed me how a good mentor should be
you taught me alot, thank you (:

leaving council room today
i wasn't really that sad
but suddenly
reality dawned on me
no more assembling at outside GO
no more morning ass duties
no more pinning of the council badge before going to school
no more treating council room as if it was your home
no more familiar and nice faces to meet
no more filling of vending machine, collecting money, and having the key=opening the vending machine anytime
no more opening of storeroom to see the familiar crest and messy-ness
it's sad isn't it?
i wunder if we'll still remain together as time passes

but still
i'm glad i went through this journey
despite the ups and downs (and all the shit LOL)

2009-04-21T23:58:00.001+08:00

walking out into the dark alone
i can't help but wonder how long after before you all notice i'm gone

owells should not mull over these things right?
if not life is so....mull-ly
thanks sandra (:

2009-04-19T18:16:00.003+08:00

{edited/}
and dun wanna say why i edited the post

and i dun understand how i care so much for other pple
when in the end
im treated like shit
talk about treat others like how you want yourself to be treated by them
dun tink that's true
and how can all those shitty pple
have all the things that i dun have but i want
i mean
i dun tink i'm an ultra good person
but i tink
at the very LEAST
i'm like so much more better than them
i dun noe who to turn to to confide in already
because you all dun understand how i feel
dun say you also feel lonely
cause you're surrounded by pple who constantly notice you and care about you

and i feel myself gradually closing myself up and distaning myself from others
which is not a good sign
shit
owells

2009-04-14T22:27:00.001+08:00

after witnessing so much being done for others
i thought
iwouldfeelspecialtoo
but
i was wrong
and disappointed

2009-04-05T12:13:00.001+08:00

listening to this, does this mean anything to all of you?

hmmm

only sup knows what i'm feeling, coz she feels it too...

p.s. i have no music talent omg so hard to hear the song and come out with the scores X|

2009-04-02T22:22:00.001+08:00

today is shiyeng's emonemo day

2009-04-01T23:15:00.002+08:00

i
am
so
screwed
for
h3
maths
=(

i totally can't do, its worse than the 1st test and i failed the first one
and then i see others which i thought their standard is same as me writing so much more
demoralised
upset
feel stupid
regret not putting in hardwork
30% of my Alvl h3 grade gone
i'm gonna work hard for the 70%
i want to gain it all back!
LOL easier said then done =.=
hopefully i really can do it!
GO SHIYENG!
aim for merit! no luh pass can already!
just don't get ungraded! =(

got back some of MBTs results
contented knowing the amt of effort i put in
esp bio omg study one day be4 still can pass (:
SHI YENG MUST WORK HARDER!
YOU SAW THE STRONG COMPETITION OUTSIDE MJ TODAY RIGHT!
JIAYOU!

owells i'm still upset about h3
lemme emo awile ....

i believe i can. i believe i will.

2009-03-26T22:12:00.003+08:00

MBTs are OVER!
very screwed
but what can we do
and its all my fault
for not studying early
for feeling like giving up without trying

but anws
let's give ourselves a break for now (:

wed after bio paper was airport with CALA LEE and RING YEO! aka ke hui and sandra
it was such a fun time with many suaning/bastarding and HAHAHA moments
long time since i've laughed so hard XD
thanks guys (:

today was chem post mortem
during the long break between morning assembly and chem post mortem was ikea breakfast with nina, huixin, samantha, ke hui, yi hui
okayy luh nothing much happened lol
then was ikea AGAIN with class peeps after chem post mortem
and we were just fooling around ikea
seriously
i tink we were the source of noise during that period of time

and then home
and slack

{edited/}

some things are better off to be kept within just me

but then again who really comes to my blog anw?

2009-03-19T13:27:00.002+08:00

I is officially very stressed due to slacking too much =X

owells haha

pastamania with sandra last friday = gossip+bitching+crapping+going craziee+spending$

hmm sandra feels like a friend-for-life friend lols
just when she zhong se qing you *ahem ahem* then not very nice hahaha

GP on mon was =.=
paper 1 was still okay
paper 2 ...

after that was studying in school with supanee and theo while waiting for vending delivery (HEH we got FOCs again lol XD)

studying in school with sup&theo = getting hungry easily+eat alot+putting pens in hot water to make them work again+crapping and going crazie while going home due to eating too much NUTs (:

chanced upon some videos and pictures that we took last time
i realised how much i missed the times i used to have with you (:
we had so much fun crapping together and all
but now, i know going back to those times is impossible :(
because of that barrier
and sometimes, just sometimes, i feel that you're not trying to
hmm
owells
but,
i'm glad we once had those times
i shall hold on to those memories
because they bring back much joy and laughter (:

maybe its me
maybe i should change
hmmm

2009-03-09T22:17:00.001+08:00

miley cyrus - The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what?s waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

i'm neutral towards miley cyrus
but i love this song
its so inspiring
lyrics are just awesome

2009-02-22T21:19:00.003+08:00

hello!
NRP symposium was on saturday!
and that sort of marks the end of my NRP journey!
whoohoo~~!
presentations were okay
i only had 2 heee
the last prof assigned to me din come=(
but i saw him when i was talking to another prof!
anws too bad he din wan come back
but anw on that day i felt like i was the most luckiest most xing fu girl
lemme explain!
firstly, my parents were so nice to wake up so early (i had to be at ntu by 7.30am! imagine how early we had to wake!) and fetch me down to ntu with my big bulky poster.
they were like the only parents there, love them (:
and because i needed a laptop, so my prof DR LEE (: asked her student Catalin to come help me with the set up of the computer
and he helped me with practically everything
i still rmb being so lost with the poster etc
and he came in and did like everything for me
i tink i was like the only one who had a 'helper'
but he was like so great and so sweet really thanks alot, Catalin! (:
how come singapore guys cant be as nice and sweet as him aww haha
but yea that's what made me feel so lucky
it may not seem alot to you
but its enough for me (:

anw
i hope things get back to normal after we all be honest with one another (:

2009-02-19T22:21:00.001+08:00

i'm tired.upset.depressed.angry.pissed.sad.sad.and more saddedd.

2009-02-15T12:33:00.002+08:00

throwing aside all the unhappiness

i think i'm beginning to love council more
i mean, not that i feel very bonded to everyone
but i'm starting to feel more, how to say, i duno luh!
looking at sc's blog makes me very happeyyy (:
looking at all those who tagged who say that they enjoyed orientation
and they wanted download links for the dance videos and even the ilovesc video!
it just makes me real happeyy (:
i tink it applies to all councillors
it seems to show that all our efforts put in for orientation have paid off
despite it being screwed up behind the scenes
but you cant deny the fact that the J1s enjoyed themselves!
of course not to forget help from the OGLs and house comm
coz without you guys, all these will not happened
i want the thank my HARBOURFRONT OGLS!
although i dun tink they'll see this
but thanks guys! for all the fun and laughter
although you guys always make me angry by not turning up for game trials and recee
(you know never once was there full strength! hmmph!)
but you guys were like the most efficient!
your log was submitted and the 1st! yayy (:(:
and thanks to dance comm for coming up with floorfiller!
it really is very popular!
thanks to each and every councillor who put in much effort!
thanks to MELISSA who brought the muslim boys at harbourfront to the mosque
thanks to TAs who guided us along
thanks to many many ppl haha lazy to type here
despite everything that's happened, i hope we've grown together as one!
no more emo emo okay!
we are the 6th students' council, 30 strong (:(:

okayyy since orientation's over
now must support friendship day, r&e, ctc and invest okay! (:

2009-02-14T11:49:00.003+08:00

some things are just so disappointing
am i not part of the class?
so you just don't bother to ask if when there's outings
i just HAVE to hear it through OTHERS
i know i've been mia-ing
but sometimes i was really not free
sometimes i don't feel like going
want to know why?
because everytime i go, i feel out of place
because everytime i go, i always keep quiet
because everytime i go, i don't seem to be able to clique with you all
because i'm not in the happening clique
because i don't usually open up to people easily
because i'm insignificant to you all
because everytime i go, i come back feeling upset and depressed
because everytime i go, it just makes me wonder if my existence amongst you all is needed

and see-ing all the outings that happened without me knowing
i think i'm quite sure that my existence is not needed
seriously

now, who says secondary school friends were made to last?
i think that's such a lie
well for me i guess

youguysreallydisappointmebutiguessionlyhavemyselftoblameionlyhavemycharacterandpersonalitytoblame

2009-02-08T17:43:00.002+08:00

orientation's over
finally
debrief was...
nothing to say
or frankly
i dun wan say anything up here

thank you to those who came up to me to say words of encouragement
like CHEN PENG(:
no, i dun tink i deserve what you think of me seriously
and dun tink of that about yourself!

next week's friendship day
and then comes r&e
ctc
invest

seems like our council journey is coming to an end
although i know i dun really seem bonded to ppl in council
but i want to end it
with everyone that had gone through invest 2008 tgt
no more
no less

2009-01-29T23:15:00.003+08:00

i duno how to describe how i'm feeling
i know its my fault to get irritated and impatient
i'm sorry
but i din mean it
i mean imagine if you're concentrating and this person down here is always talking to you talking talking
then of course you will ask him/her to hey can you like stop i'll do it myself and you can just leave things there
i'm not disrespectful
i'm more then grateful for all your help
i'm more than happy to have parents like you
many times your words hurt me but i cried behind closed doors i cried behind your back
like how i'm breaking down in my study room now while you're in the living room/toilet
knowing NOTHING
many times i tell myself even if i'm not well-liked or anything i have the greatest parents on earth so its ok
you can show your damn black face to everyone at home while you're sweeping the floor getting irritated by us
i noe i cant ask why cant i
because i'm younger than you
i'm a child
you're the adult
you're always right
i think you should be glad i'm an okay girl
i'm not that good
but i'm not that bad either!
I dun stay out always
i dun quarrel with you always
i dun do alot of things that others do
everytime there's dinners or outings
i feel bad leaving either one of you alone
so i'll not go
and now i'm deemed as anti-social by some ppl
i'm not putting the blame on you
because those were my choices
i made these choices
yes so its my responsibility
but do you understand?
could you be more understanding?
to understand the stress that i'm upon
that i'm not catching up in school work nowadays
that there's a million and one things to do and i cant seem to complete them all

i know what sandra will say if i tell her these
i have to communicate with my parents
but sometimes
communicating with them is useless

looks like im in for a cold war for the next couple of days or even weeks
they sure want an apology from me
and next few weeks are the toughest with orientation and my event
i thought i had support back from home
but now
i feel lost

2009-01-28T22:57:00.002+08:00

its hard not to bother
its hard not to get hurt

sometimes i wunder if the problem all lies with me
but
i know to some extent it is
but is it all my fault?

since today
i know that im not remebered
seriously
like
when i'm missing or what
no1 cares to bother hey why i'm not there
no1 cares to update me on what's going on

and all along i thought it was just me being anti-social
yes i guess that's to some extent
but after 2dae
i realise not
becoz i'm not even inside your to invite list
maybe you thought i have never gone for any 'outings' so dun tink i would go again
but it doesnt hurt to ask rite?
and put yourselfs in my shoes luh when every1 is out there having fun and you know nothing until...
if i said i reali cant go is i realli got reason
and although yes there are times its because of acadamics
but its not all the time
i put family as my top priority
so...
ughh why do i even bother explaining to no audience

and i tink you dun need me already
you've changed
or maybe its me
or maybe the both of us
remember the things we went through the things we said
that we wanted to be best/close friends tgt as long as are alive or as long as possible?
did you forget that?
i duno

i'm sorrie if im too sensitive
but
ughh
i duno

i wan to talk to sum1!
but who can i go to?
every1 seems to have their own problems their own friends to confide in

no1 needs me
today walking behind yi hui and supanee
i realise
i'm not needed there
then the thought process continues
but i'm not gonna type them here
no i'm not
but seriously i'm not needed
i'm an insignificant freak, thanx binli&myself!
then why am i on this earth in the first place

why
why
why

hmmm...

2009-01-20T20:20:00.002+08:00

its been long since i posted!
and i'm here to annouce i'm sick again =.=
i can imagine what ke hui will say
never eat fruits and veggie hahaha

took MC 2dae
coz was feeling horrible yesterday and this morning
and yesterday the doc i wanted to see was closed
and i realised this morning she's not gonna be in until the 29th =.=
so had no choice but to see another doctor
and had to wait like 1 1/2 hours to see the doc! ZZZ

anw nevertheless i still went for h3 maths lessons at tj 2dae
coz 1st lesson not veh good to miss
i was like so early!
and the lt was like locked =.=
was stranded outside till i went to canteen to meet the rest of mj peeps
and i met alot of ppl i knew on the way =D
haha like CATHERINE!
haha for a moment i couldnt recognize her, then i was like staring at this person who just called my name LOL
sorry catherine! ahaha
but it was good to talk to her again =D
actually it was nice see-ing all the ahs ppl again
although i'm not close to them
but it has the you know ahs feeling
and it felt kinda good
many things have changed since we left ahs
i think i have change alot too
but i'm sure we all will feel familiar back in ahs, right?

lalala off to do work!

ZZ i'm a sick person and i have to pia hw and council stuffs sian! hahhaah
tata

2009-01-07T23:32:00.001+08:00

i think the best thing that happened to me in MJ
is getting into council
and getting my TA mr owen tan
and my fellow mentees supanee yi hui and ke hui
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

pictures up soon soon soon~!!!!!! (:(:(:(:

2008-12-29T01:23:00.002+08:00

hello~!
it's been long since i blogged!
hmm actually i don't know what to blog but i just feel kinda bored

anw

MERRY XMAS~! although it came abit late hahas

this was the most un-high xmas i have ever had
no party with cousins! coz they are all in beijing having a fun time looking at SNOW!
but they're back now.
lucky them ><

Anw life's been busy
hw is >< and i've to go back to chiong NRP and its report =X
but nevertheless there are still fun activities lining up!
outing with huiling sandra and ms tan ( BEN HUI WHY YOU UNCONTACTABLE!!!) tml or to be precise today!
exciting so looking forward XD
there's also jen's bdae chalet on the 8th
and if i'm not wrong ke hui's bdae chalet too from 1st to 5th
and there's still makan session with huixin and yi hui! yea prom ticketing comm whoohoo~
oh and not to forget some rice project our class is in for hmm O.o
haha

kkae i'm bored
shall continue doing bloody tys

p.s. i tink i need to copy maths hw i have not started!
anyone willing to volunteer? hahaha XD
contact me at my tagboard/hp kae hahaha =DDD

`ciaos

2008-12-07T22:46:00.001+08:00

it sucks to breakdown alone at home
i wished i had a shoulder to lean on

nevertheless i love my parents, esp my dad (:

2008-12-07T22:36:00.003+08:00

i hate the situation i'm in now
i hate myself for being so stupid
i hate myself for doing the things that i'm regretting
i'm feeling horrible
but i can't seem to push myself to go forward

i've lost all my motivation

2008-11-30T17:38:00.002+08:00

i don't like my mum's attitude
i don't like her freaking attitude
don't get me wrong
i still love my parents dearly
but you know
when something of that someone just irks you
you will just get irritated

i'm not trying to not do my nrp
i wan to finish my aar's first
i'm not delaying or trying to tuo yan shi jian
i just wan to do a good job a detailed job not one that is rushed through
i wan to dui de qi my own liang xin
don't you understand?
=.=

2008-11-23T19:02:00.002+08:00

depressed
sad
frustrated
on the verge of breaking down

is all i feel now
it's all my fault
for not starting my NRP project early
for pushing it all till the end
i'm now dead
i dun noe how to use flash
i dun noe how to use the programme
i'm clueless

my prof has been nice to provide many sources
but i still can't do it
and my dad has also been so nice to find crash course for me to learn the basics of flash
but
it cost around $350++
and that caused my mum and dad to have a little argument

my parents have also been so supportive to go with me to the library to search for books

but what can i do?
i'm totally stuck
and i dun dare to tell them
then my dad would go on to say i should go for the course
and the argument goes on again
='(

it's all my fault
i noe i have to face up to this problem
but how?

2008-11-09T11:56:00.002+08:00

helloooo
friday marks the END of PW
yeah man
no matter how bad/good we've done
its over (:
just leave it to the hands of Him up above
bud
i really think i screwed my Q&A
they asked me THREE questions leh =.=
should be because my answer too short
but at that time i couldn't think of how to elaborate ><
owells
it's over!
stop thinking shi yeng!

after handing up of GPF was council all the way
with afew stoning sessions inbetween XD

yesterday was recee with OGLs to habourfront
in the end only 5 came and 1 came so late!><
but still i think it was quite effective
with lots of help from Ms Karen Ng. thank you very much!(:
habourfront has nice OGLs lah
i enjoy my time with them
after that went for zone lunch whoo
haha and talked more to get to know more about each other yeah

owells i'm bored
but while people are out there slacking
i have to do my nrp =.=
i think i'm so dead for it
i'm like squeezing the whole year's work to just a few months
DEAD
but nevertheless
i shall just try my best now
hmm and i'm like typing perfect english in the post!
no shortcuts whao so rare

isitme?
orarewedrftingapart?
icantclickwiththemaswellasyoucan
butimtryingtoo
butthatdayyoujustleftwithouteventoaskmetojoin
withoutevensayinggoodbye
youcansayimasensitivefreak
butifeltupsetafterthat

sandra!
make time for shiyeng!
she needs to talk to you soon
before she starts breaking down!

2008-11-01T00:06:00.002+08:00

WHEEEE
my parents bought me hsm3 soundtrack WAHAHAHAHA
awesome! hahaha
am awaiting for OP to be done done done
then can go watch it with hui ling ben hui and sandra
wheeee
later kena pang seh-ed haii owells
cheeena paper was
i duno what to say
im feeling okay
but i knew i wrote crap
seriously
bud owells its over
i cant do anything alreadi
so now let's just prac OP OP OP and more OP!
i scared Q&A!!! that's like my biggest biggest fear!!! =XX

hsm3 - we're all in this together graduation mix

hsm3 - high school musical

awww
these songs made me feel a little sad
it's like
the last chap of hsm alreadi!
no more troy gabriella sharpey ryan etcetc
i dun like the 3 new members of the cast
especially that new girl ><
these songs also made me tink of my school life
epps ahs and now mjc
i dun rmb much about life in epps lols!XD
bud in ahs and now in mj
i realise i'm always searching for something
somewhere
where i can feel belonged
where i can be myself
have i found it?
maybe
maybe not
hmm
i'm not sure myself O.o
i thought i have with sandra hui lin ben hui
bud i realise
ppl change
and now it seems
i duno O.o
anw
as this thought process goes on
i have an interesting question for the day

how many of your friends
will come to your side
with just one text msg or phone call
no matter how late or early
no matter rain or shine
no matter in times of good or bad
it's not something emo that i'm gonna talk about myself and how ke lian i am haha
bud it's quite an interesting question
where you go one by one examining your friends
and judging if they will really do that
some friends are willing
bud not able
some are able
bud not willing
so
who's willing and able to do so?
hmmmmm
interesting...
hahaha
bud i haven shortlisted anyone in my list yet hmmmm
haha okay i'm talking crap XD
cyaz!

2008-10-25T00:35:00.002+08:00

hello!
hsm3 is out like TODAY! like omg bud no1 to excited with me other than brenda bud she watching with jingmei
STUPID SANDRA
she dun sound excited like at all ZZZ
bud anws nvm i ownself zi-high can alreadi XD

WHOO i could just go on and on haha
but i'm controling myself
heard from brenda it's not bad
haha cant wait to go see
sandra you better not zhong se qing you and pang seh me
hui ling ben hui also~! haha
it you all really pang seh
i really will get damn pissed
i'm serious
hee

oh i realise there was a 4k outing
which i wasnt informed
hmm somehow i'm not surprised
bud anw i doubt i was free
owells

you've changed
izzit because of him?

2008-10-13T23:44:00.002+08:00

my newest craze: 籃球火!!!
haha it's soooo nice (:
i'm beginning to quite like xiao zhu alreadi awww

讓絕隊無敵的傳說能永遠不會被打破
必須要戰鬥 my way
if I'm ever gonna get back get back get back
讓絕隊無敵的傳說能永遠記住在心中
必須要戰鬥 my way
if I'm ever gonna get back

Yo picture this
U got a kid in a room
his hands sweating and shaking while he's lacing his shoes
the excitement's building up for what's coming up soon
To get there and do what he was born to do
他擁有籃球夢他成為地獄修羅
他知道全盤戰局只能夠靠自己掌控
雖感到一點疲倦雖感到一些危險
但是在勝負分明之前絕對不會退卻

Cause now he's out on the floor
And he's catching the pass
slashing to the glass, moving so fast, right to the hole
they don't know how to stop him
and he keeps on dropping
2's and 3's by the second and the crowd is rocking
so they knock him

躺在冰冷地上只要一個深呼吸就能再衝刺全場
慢動作的世界歡呼聲蜂擁如浪
就在一分鐘過後強者加冕稱王

讓絕隊無敵的傳說能永遠不會被打破
必須要戰鬥 my way
if I'm ever gonna get back get back get back
讓絕隊無敵的傳說能永遠記住在心中
必須要戰鬥 my way
if I'm ever gonna get back

Yo Imagine

有個女孩出現
她在人群之中永遠都是第一耀眼
她總是在身邊不知心裡想誰
所有男孩夢想有天能給她全世界

But the truth
is that there's someone on the other team
Someone who stole her heart
Someone who holds her dreams
They kiss for the 1st time just the other evening
It's 12 and number 1 and she's getting caught up in between

戰況激烈好戲正要上演
女孩不知道自己應該站在哪一邊
眼神交會局勢瞬息萬變
大家都屏住呼吸忍住不眨眼

Number 1 on the break
12 quick on the chase
Brother goes in the air with brother up in his face
They come crashing to the dirt
Tears about to burst
When the game is over who she gonna run to first, yo

讓絕隊無敵的傳說能永遠不會被打破
必須要戰鬥 my way
if I'm ever gonna get back get back get back
讓絕隊無敵的傳說能永遠記住在心中
必須要戰鬥 my way
if I'm ever gonna get back

有時感覺阻礙太多
但我還是為了我的夢想而奮鬥
Nothing gonna stop me

Ey yo this game of life is one big struggle
We gotta hustle just to make it everyday
and to find ourselves a way
to fight the fears we facing
and grad those dreams we chasing
cuz there ain't no competition
when we rise to the occasion c'mon

讓絕隊無敵的傳說能永遠不會被打破
必須要戰鬥 my way
if I'm ever gonna get back get back get back
讓絕隊無敵的傳說能永遠記住在心中
必須要戰鬥 my way
if I'm ever gonna get back

this is soo keeping me from going crazie doing pw
yea yea yea
i seriously hope pw will turn out good
i seriously keep my fingers crossed =X

sianz i no need slp 2dae liao
it's pw all the way
go shi yeng!

2008-10-12T20:50:00.001+08:00

got the link from xueli's blog
man miranda really rocked the house
i mean i still love triton lol dun get the wrng idea
just wanting to say that miranda really deserved to win (:

2008-10-12T01:11:00.002+08:00

WARNING: This post is gonna be very very very vulgar. you'll get to see the f word alot of times so if you don't like it then you can just skip it.

it was a good day that day
until that incident
bloody hell
i just don't understand why morons like those exist
i've gotten over it alreadi
but everytime i think about it
it just makes my blood boil
and it's the first incident
that made me say my first 'fuck' out loud
those who noe me will noe i seldom says fuck, almost never
so when she says it
she's really damn fucking pissed
really very very pissed
seriously man
people
use your damn bloody fucking BRAIN to think
are your actions correct?
can you ppl be more CONSIDERATE?
you're not the ones responsible
WE ARE
and bloody hell
what's YOUR fucking problem
i know one of you apolagized
and i'm happy, you changed my impression of you (:
but the other one
fuck you
seriously
don't you understand the fucking seriousness of this?
and somemore you are a ........
GOSH
and the others
you even questioned us
fuck man
i shan't go on to elaborate what really happen
coz blogs are not safe you know
if you wanna noe what happened you can ask me
i'll consider if i wanna tell you anot

sorry ppl
this post is really for me to vent my anger
so sorry for being alittle too vulgar

2008-10-05T18:53:00.002+08:00

i dun understand what's your problem
i'm not telling you face to face coz i dun wanna lose you
but
you are totally getting on my nerves!
STOP rubbing salt into the wound
STOP thinking that what you do is oh-so hard
START being iniative in doing work
and STOP waiting to be asked to do things
shessh man

bud anw
dun worrie
this person im talking about should not be anyone of you reading this (:

2008-09-29T22:26:00.002+08:00

OHIYO!!!
hahahah
after promos and im alreadi so busy
its prom meridian open house farewell assembly
prom meridian open house farewell assembly and the cycle goes on and on!
shit i must stop alreadi! i cant do it on this wednesday sorry to huixin and binli
i reali reali have to start my NRP and WR OP PW!!!
just for this wed puh-leaseeeee???
=X

2008-09-28T17:47:00.004+08:00

hahaha
i'm too bored lah come post again
anw i just thought how i'm gonna answer the ppl that ask me to drop econs HEE

T is for teacher/whoever... S is for me Shi yeng

T: I think you should drop your econs from H2 to H1
S: Why?!
T: Because you did not do as well as others
S: Oh i see. But i don't think i should drop
T: I know how you feel. But maybe you would do better in H1. It's okay if you get as good results.
S: But you see, I very nice go study the whole of econs aka all chapters. You know some people did so well? Because they took your hints and go memorise and regurgitate the whole answer you gave in promo package. I particular think you all shouldn't do this so i particularly think i should not drop. You think A lvl you also can give hints for us to memorise and regurgitate?

LOL i dunno how to continue coz i duno how the cher will react
anw this conver is not shooting tose who memorise and regurgitate bud yea it's how i wanna answer the teachers

{edited/}
wheee

2008-09-28T15:32:00.004+08:00

i tink im really lucky
to get my position in council
to be in the same position as ke hui
to have owie as my TA
cause
i tink owie's the best TA ever!
well
although he's demanding and SOTONG and when he criticize you, it's horrible
but
i tink he's the most caring TA
okay maybe i'm biased coz he's my TA afterall
and i've never really jie chu with the other council TAs
and also maybe it's his job to like 'look after' us
but still
i rmb the msg that he sent us

' Tis Teacher's day, i pray that u know peace when u are anxious,
wisdom when u are confused, strength when u are weak, understanding when u need insight. Do your best for yr promo ^_^ '

isn't he just so nice?
budden i hope i dun disappoint me too much this promo><
it's so stressfull when he says shiyeng you're one that i have most hope for
haha
whatever's the case
Thankyou mr owie tan
for all that you've done for us sotongs
really
Thank you =)

okay now off to help my mum with housework XD

{edited/}
cancelled the imeem box wheeeeee

2008-09-19T21:19:00.003+08:00

I've always been the kind of girl
That hid my face
So afraid to tell the world
What I've got to say
But I have this dream
Bright inside of me
I'm gonna let it show, it's time
To let you know
To let you know

This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm suppose to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me

Do you know what it's like
To feel so in the dark
To dream about a life
Where you're the shining star
Even though it seems
Like it's too far away
I have to believe in myself
It's the only way

This is real, This is me
I'm exactly where I'm suppose to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me

You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you, I gotta find you
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
I need to find you, I gotta find you

This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm suppose to be, now
Gonna let the light, shine on me
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me (this is me)
You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
Now I've found, who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me.

whao
I LOVE THE SONG!
lyrics are so meaningful! ><
haha okay times up for break
back to mugging
let me promote! =X

2008-09-16T23:16:00.002+08:00

lala
instead of concentrating on things that i dun have i should look at those that i have eh?
i have wunderful parents!
they are like the best in the world not matter what
i have ke hui!
i have sandra! BUD she ZHONG SE QING YOU ONE LORRRR!!! hmmph! you'll get it from me
and i dun believe im saying this lol
bud i have brenda!
haha i'm quite grateful to have met brenda in mj=D
although we might not be the closest she makes me feel a little less lonely ;D
omg are you honoured? bud i tink you wun even see my post LOL
although they are very little as compared to others
bud its better than mulling over what ive lost or dun have ;D
for those who dun noe how to cherish me.you just lost a wunderful friend.
you don't know how nice and great the real me can be
LOL (kiddin!)
enough of zi kua-ing which sandra and ke hui see liao will vommit
all in all
i'll try!
i'll try not to look at the negative!

bud
now
ALL.I.WANT.IS.TO.GET.PROMOTED!.
HELP.ME.
ARHH.

2008-08-30T17:03:00.002+08:00

i found this through the link on sotong #2's blog

Here are some of the signs and symptoms of depression:

feeling empty or numb
feeling hopeless (like there's nothing to look forward to)
feeling guilty or worthless
feeling lonely or unloved
feeling irritable and annoyed a lot (every little thing gets on your nerves)
feeling like things are not fun anymore
having trouble keeping your mind on schoolwork or homework or getting bad grades
having trouble keeping your mind on things like reading or watching TV or not remembering what a book or a TV show was about
having less energy and feeling tired all the time
sleeping too much or not enough
not eating enough and weight loss or eating too much and weight gain
thinking about death or thinking about suicide
spending less time with friends and more time alone
crying a lot, often for no reason
feeling restless (being unable to sit still or relax)
having certain body feelings, like lots of stomachaches, headaches, or chest pain

i think i might have depression LOL
there are like 9 points above that are what i feel O.o
oh no~
hahaha
owells i wunder if its cool to have depression? haha

anyways
i realise my family's not really like it is before
or am i being sensitive?
it doesn't seem like a happy place
and i seem to get scolded with alot of question marks on my head
not being told the real reason whatsoever
my parents don't seem to care as much and understand as much
hmm
maybe i'm just being over sensitive
hopefully
hope this feeling goes away soon

2008-08-24T18:12:00.002+08:00

AndallalongIthoughtitwasme
AndallalongIthoughtyouallwerereal
AllalongIusedtothinkthatitwasmyproblem
Thattherereallyarepploutterethatcared
Thattheyjustdon’tshowit
Butwhatthehell
IwasandIambloodyfuckingwrong
Otherscanbedownandoutwithmanytagsseriously
Butpeoplejust‘forget’thatIexistanddon’tdropbymyblogizzit?
Fuck man

i suddenly
feel like talking to zhengxiangXD
i miss talking to her in tose pae days!

2008-08-16T23:13:00.002+08:00

sometimes
one really wonders who will be the trues friends that really really will be with you
for the rest of your life
sometimes
one really wonders
who around you will go through thick and thin with you
and will know when you're feeling alright or not

franklyspeakingthatdayduringfourkayoutingiwasfeelingsodamnawkwardthatiwassoupsetthatijustwantedtoleavealreadywellthatspartlythereasonbutofcoursetherestheparentspartidontknowwhyimsoboldtotypethisoutherebutsomehowiknownoonefromtherewillcomemyblogsoiguessitsokay?seriouslynoeffenceithinkiwilltinktwiceaboutgoingtoanotherouting

each time
i just get more disappointed

and i din know others are more important then me
i know you were sorry after that
and im not really angry with you
but i guess the damage has been done
and it really let me felt very upsetting

does the problem lie with me?
i've question myself alot of times
and tried to be more open
but
i'm not the type of initiative person
so maybe that's why i feel that people don't understand me?
owells

emo again
i tink eMok!d2 really suits me now
other than sotong1 hee

2008-08-14T23:13:00.001+08:00

michael phelps is a.w.e.s.o.m.e !
hahaha
china's gymnastics (however its spelt) is also great! they really deserva the gold man!
i'm so oylmpics haha
owells cyaz

2008-08-12T20:58:00.001+08:00

im being emo
the feeling of emptiness
the feeling of helplessness
dejected
depressed

well
this sucks

budthenagenwhowouldbethere?
i tried telling
bud the reply seems to say sorry im too busy with my life

hmm
i tink im having moodswings

2008-08-09T20:40:00.002+08:00

it's NATIONAL DAY~!
after watching the parade i'm feeling kinda patriotic
and i realise this year's song is not bad
the english version nicer
not becoz hady sings it bud yah

haha (:
shi yeng loves Singapore!
although it's like so patriotic and wadever
still tis is our country XD
abit regret MJ doesnt celebrate national day with the normal concert and stuffs
instead go watch movie
i rmb our last year in ahs
the sing-along session was awesome
we were all standing on the chairs and stuffs
the atmosphere was real cool
owells
tose were the days (:

2008-08-07T21:47:00.002+08:00

OHIYO~!
tml's like the start of beijing olympics 2008
so fast rite XD
nth much these days
hectic busy tired sleepy

oh and there's a trend to speak in third person
yup so shi yeng will start to speak in third person
oh and shi yeng remembers a shocking thing that happened during chem lecture yest
shi yeng is not a student of mr lau (the lecturer) and knows him in no way
yet he can point at shiyeng and call her PEARLICIA to answer the question
shi yeng tells very little people she is pearlicia
shi yeng was utterly shocked at that moment of time until she couldnt tink of the answer
shi yeng is thankful simone was behind and told her the answer
conclusion is shi yeng was traumatised for a day

then today shi yeng and binli hui xin suan kai asked mr lau how he noe
he says he saw shi yeng's blog
so scary
shi yeng is now more weary of what she blogs XD

this is getting tiring
shi yeng shall stop here

yep and so tml is national day celebration
morning breakfast then mummy threeeeeee
apparantly my parents are not allowing me to go anywhere after that
hopefully they will allow me to go out for dinner
hopefully there will be a 4k dinner
am currently in love with DERRICK aka wei jian!
my gawd his new album rocks
his voice is a-w-e-s-o-m-e !!!

(((((:

2008-08-01T23:42:00.001+08:00

(:(:(:

many things have come to my mind these few days hmmm
i wan go back ahs! =D

2008-07-15T19:29:00.003+08:00

:DDD

i just love step up (:
it makes me wanna take up dancing haha
i noe that's quite a joke owells

BIO SPA! =(
i tink i screwed again =(
me=failure

2008-07-10T19:55:00.002+08:00

ohiyo!
LTC was surprisingly fun! (:
FRENCH FIVE!!
although i still think im rather loner
bud the activities are fun
esp rafting!
love it wen we all work tgt and make sure everyone gets on(:
and we have a cute instructor, oliver!
i stiu rmb we were told to write things to our instructor
bud coz we alreadi prepared msgs for him before hand
so we were saying no need lah we dun wan write for you
and he actually believed and seemed rather sad! XD
then later kamal gave him the stuffs he act like blushed LOL
see we so nice haha

yep ive gotten back all my results
i have a range of Bs,Cs,Ds and was rather happy
until my results got spoilt by a S becoz of econs...wth!! =X
bud owells i shant talk about tese stuffs here
cyaz peeps!

2008-07-04T20:50:00.002+08:00

i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this
i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this
i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this
i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this
i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this

emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo
emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo
emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo
emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo
emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo

imsonotlookingforwardtoltc
seriouslytingillbeleftoutlikecrazie
andthatno1willnoticeandamishapmighthappentome
wtf

2008-06-26T21:37:00.003+08:00

BOO!
and mye are officially over~!
whether we score or not
lets wait for results then say
dun assume who or who will top or bottom
cause you never know what's gonna happen (:
believe that God planned everything...for a reason (:

but anyway
after maths paper 2dae (horrible paper~!)
went out with dear dra dra and ke ke haha
and we totally went crazzzy!
lazy to write what happened but it was funn
bud erm we offended like 2 pple opps owells WHATEVER.ANYTHING.FINE XD
and it was really nice having someone listen to my rants and really understand how i feel(:
so i'm really glad to have these two weridos as my friends
its not the quantity bud the quality that counts (:

2008-06-09T23:35:00.002+08:00

okay
so might not fit in
so im easily forgetable
so im easily seen as invisible
so im easily being pushed aside
why
i always ask my self why
maybe it's really me
it's me making so many people out there hate me
i'm trying my best
but sumhow
it doesnt work
anywhere everywhere anytime
williforeverbelikethis

2008-06-08T15:29:00.002+08:00

whoo i have the sudden urge to blog =D
rather than studyin
im so dead
i haven reali started!
haish
anw wednesday is outing!
my mom doesnt look optimistic
hopefully i can sneak out for a meal with them!
i NEED AND MUST have a meet up! ahha
i tink i'll break out of the house even if my mom disallows hahaha
opps =X
AND
i realise
4k pple very qiang! haha
is like..i duno
i just read sammie's blog
if im not wrng he's like vp of band in tj like whao!
and shirley according to binli should be second biggest in business club and running for sumtin else!
and binli and i are councillors
and i bet if you go and ask each 4k they sure got post one lahhh
hahaha
amazing
haha
im just amused gosh ahaha
anw okay that part was random
and now
i duno wad to blog
owells
haha

the song's nice (:
bud some of the lyrics is lol
there's one which was like 'loving you is not just luck or illusion, it's in the make-up of my DNA'
haha veh =.=
okay! im being random
cyaz i shall TRY to do some work >.<

2008-06-04T22:56:00.001+08:00

there's some things in life that i did'nt ask for it to happen
i hope i din change
i hope im just over-sensitive

2008-06-01T15:03:00.002+08:00

Say Goobye -- S Club 7
In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared
In the years to come
Are you gonna think it over
And how we lived each day with no regrets
Nothing lasts forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you

[chorus]
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts is the only way now for you and me
Though its the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Because a true love never dies

In a year from now
Maybe there'll be things we'll wish we'd never said
In a year from now
Maybe we'll see each other, standing on the same street corner no regrets
Each and every end is always written in the stars
If only i could stop the World i'd make this last

[Chorus]
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Because a true love never dies

And when you need my arms to run into
I'll come for you
Nothing will ever change the way i feel

[Chorus]
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every day
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Because a true love never dies

omg i love the song <33
i'm falling in love with all s club 7 songs HAHA
they're great!
bud i dun like s club 8 sorry hui xin! haha

i NEED to start mugging
ive wasted one whole week!
im disappointed with myself
i said to mug like shit wen hols start but now...
gogo jiayou shiyeng!
gogo jiayou everyone!
(:

2008-05-29T16:56:00.002+08:00

omg
i duno if i should convert my nrp project to a h3 anot
my heart tells me no
and i was so convinced just now
then stella say just try and jia hao now come sae he's converting =.=
and now i'm officially confused again
shucks
God, can you give me an answer?
or have you already did?

2008-05-22T18:35:00.002+08:00

e-learning is killing me
its so laggy!
dread the word 'buffering' =.=
and alot of tings sia
haish
bud ANW
ITS BEEN EXTENDED! haha
now the lessons are available for the whole june hols YAY
haha

anw i just read ke hui's blog
and am motivated to blog haha
why did i choose to come mjc in the first place?
i had no idea man!
haha
i had the burning passion for mj
and then i lost if during chingay
and im having it back now
haha
ppl always ask
'why you put mj? why u dun wan vj/tj?'
well...
i dun have the answer myself
bud one thing i noe
is i'll never regret this choice
i'll never scold vj for not accepting me
i duno how i'll be like if i were to be in vj
more happening?
more outspoken?
mayb not
mayb yes
bud all i noe is
if i were not in mjc
i would not have learnt so much
i would not have picked up the ogl form to go interview
i would not have volunteered myself to be cg rep
i would not have picked up council form
i would not have gone through rally and elections
i would not be a councillor now
i would not be what i am now
i would not have learnt so much and grown so much
i would not have known wunderful ppl like ke hui(:
i would not be pulling my hair due to vending machines ;D
there are many i would nots
hmm i dun reali noe wads the point of this post
bud
i wun ever regret coming mjc
no doubt im seperated from most of 4k peeps and other ahs ppl
bud mayb i can make more impact here
and mayb i wun be so invisible animore?
well i hope (:

2008-05-21T23:30:00.002+08:00

ALOHA PPL~!
GUESS WAD?
MJ IS CHAMPIONS FOR BOYS SOCCER WHOOHOOO
OMGOMGOMGOMG
HAHAHAHA
THE FIRST GOAL WAS TOTALLY UNEXPECTED! SO FAST! HAHAHA
ALRITE MAN
YAY SO HAPPEEEEYYY
AND I TINK
ITS THESE ACTIVITES THAT BOND COUNCIL TGT...
MAYB IT AINT THE WRNG CHOICE?
WELL...WE'LL SEE (:
ARHH E-LEARNING
IT SUCKS
LOL!

LOH SHI YENG AM PROUND TO BE MJCian WHOOHOOO~~~~
it's vj's loss for not having me LOL okay just joking
(:(:(:(:

2008-05-19T23:27:00.003+08:00

THE HOLS ARE COMING~~~!!!!
well it aint really the hols
its just some mugger and hectic period for us
haha
anw i need to go SHOPPING~!
and eating spree
and go outings outings and more outings!
after joining council ive missed out hanging out with so many ppl!
ppl from 08s111,sandra,siewmon,rachel,natalie,zheng xiang,kai kai(okay mayb i never realli hang out with kai bud where's our subway date!? haha).
i miss the ahs peeps like shirley yingsi phaykey anngi evelyn simin samantha nicole si hui jie min samuel aloysius etcetcetc
and there's still ppl like huiling and ben hui omg!
haha i duno wad enlightened me bud i suddenly miss all these peeps
and things that have happened reali reali made me wunder if i made the right choice to pick up that form at that time
coz i tink i would be happier if i stayed on....
o wdv!
i shall just live everyday to the fullest!
maybe i should open up myself to more ppl X)
owells i haven started on econs test omg
haha off to try to do last minute cramming~!

2008-05-12T00:16:00.000+08:00

OMG
i love this (:
<333

2008-05-11T00:01:00.001+08:00

WHY WHY WHY
maybe i should stop asking why others are like that
and start asking why am i like that
maybe the problem really lies with me

2008-05-06T18:23:00.002+08:00

i duno what's happening to me
ive lost the motivation do do hw study tests and just pia things
mayb its coz of tiredness i duno
i wan the old me back
the one that will have the mindset of 'chiong arh!'
Oh God, pls help me to find back that me?
andletmyvoicebeheard

2008-04-16T21:41:00.002+08:00

AND YES
TODAY MARKS THE END OF MY LIFE AS A COUNCIL NOMINEE WHOOSH!
although i 4get to ask yingsi and my cuz to ask their frenz vote for me haha
bud anw
i will be sad that im not in lah
bud it was a memorable period of time
torturing breaking down having fun making frenships
im proud of myself
coz i never imagine myself to do such tings
not even in ahs have i been so bold
im happy! haha
bud
i dun tink i will get in haha owells
jiayous for tose who are in! (although results haven out yet bud yea sae in advance)
mayb run for guitar exco teehee
or asst cg rep cum treasurer heee okayy
anw off to do homework! tml got test! i dun wan fail agen haha
cyaz ppl~!(:

2008-04-05T15:41:00.001+08:00

putting 101% effort
and knowing u put MUCH MUCH more effort in than sum other ppl
bud they will reach their goal and not you
its just discouraging and depressing

2008-04-05T14:38:00.000+08:00

its hard to smile wen u noe its not frm the heart

2008-03-29T19:49:00.002+08:00

tis is the one of the stressful times in jc life
and i realise
i duno who to confide in
or rather
i wanted to confide in some ppl bud they dun seem to care
conlusion:
im a pathetic! whoo~
tis is the 1st time after so long that i felt tis way agen
the change frm sec sch to jc life reali tests ur frenship
im at a lost
tell me
tell me wad to do wen u tink old frenz are drifting away
and new frenz dun understand u that well yet
and ur parents also dun understand u
well to console myself
i have a blog to confide in

2008-03-21T19:02:00.003+08:00

hello!
yes updating again
the wole week
has been
hectic like crazie!
with meetings for event one
pia-ing slideshow
pia-ing poster
pia-ing name tag
and trying to crack brains to tink of my rally >.<
as a result of lag of sleep
bio test was horrible
and i was late for meeting today LOL!
we were supposed to meet 10.30 at bugis
i woke at like 10 O.o
hahaha
owells
got parents to fetch me there yays
okay tis is a random post
i duno wad to post about lollol

anwimhavingdoubtsaboutcouncil
cozofcantcopingandsumothersstuffsnotappropriatetosayhere
imeanicantevencopenow
wadwillbeofmenexttime?
budanwimstiugoingthrueverything
gainexperiencesoicanmaybjoinageninuniversity?
cozisooooodoubticangetin
itslike
mysixthsenseyuphaha
andialsodunwanduibuqimalinaandqianwen
theyaretooonice!
soillyetagainplacetisinGod'shands
Heshalldecideforme
Heshalldecidewadsbestforme
(:

tag replies! hehe
`kai kai
YOO! fellow member of my fanclub LOL! XD
`chermaine
haha yes he's a farni guy who forces me to write his name on my blog =.= LOL
`zheng xiang
YOOO! miss you like crazie luh! hahaha u random leh wads with the weather LOL
`ying si
HEY thanx! you have like more confidence in me then i have in myself hahaha i'll put in my best;D
`binz
hahaha ur supporters all hidden one luh i seriously tink u can get in =D
`shirley
haha okay i tink thats how my ogl found my blog last time lol! ;D

2008-03-13T15:14:00.002+08:00

HELLO!!!!(:
im here to post agen after quite a long time hahaa
okay so its the march hols!
yay its going out time and mugging time be4 we reali pia jc life!
there was 4k bbq on sunday
it rained heavily so suddenly
we all were wet like duno wad wen we reached shelter
haha
then we went up to chia hong's house to cook up the rest of the food and chit chat
its nice to see and chat with peeps that u dun see often!
like yingsi shirley anngi evelyn nicole! cheryl(MY RJC FREN WHOOTS!) shu han etcetcetc (:(:
yup then there was a mini 08s111 outing on tues
alot of peep couldnt make it then onli 8 turned up lol owells bud it was fun(:
first was pastamania for dinner with free dessert and pasta coz jian yong got sum pastamanie card hee
then was playing at the playground at open plaza at tm
we are ppl deprived of childhood ;D
then was arcade!
although i felt not shuang enough coz i din play any shooting games hahaha
then was taking neos and we decorated damn long lol
yup
and so
2dae
was briefing for council nominee stuffs
and all i can sae is
IM OVERWHELMED
by the huge amount of stuffs we nid to do
and omg im like NOMINEE NUMBER ONE
so lucky can
1st to give speech and rally
merry christmas! =XXX
bud i'll try not to tink of the outcome first and juz do my best for now (:
coz i got great supporters like ZHENG XIANG AND SANDRA <3333 (:
u both are realli God's gift to me=D
so off to do hw liao
then muz do all the council stuffs haha
VOTE FOR ME KAE
SHI YENG, NOMINEE NUMBER ONE
LOL! =))

2008-03-01T14:35:00.002+08:00

OOOHLAALAA~
haven been updating for quite some time
anw orientation is over~!
OH AND DID I MENTION I CHANGE HOUSE???
from phobos to triton!?!?!
=(
i wan phobos!!!
haish bud owells since gonna be in triton for nxt to years
must try to pei2 yang3 gan3 qing2 with triton LOL
i stiu love phobos veh much no offence ahhaha
must take some time for me to love triton as much ;D
BUD ANW
we made history for triton
LOL
all along they were like champions
bud tis time orientation we were third
and i was one of the performers opps=X
actually realli feel quite paisehx and sorry bud owells
hahaha

anw lectures have started
08s111 is not that bonded
YET
i believe we all need time to slowly leave our ex classes and come together as 08s111
;D

lol if onli i can maintain this optimistic attitude towards all tings >.<

2008-02-22T15:41:00.002+08:00

went out with sandra just now
had fun in the arcade(:
bud i realise im not truely happy
mayb its stiu becoz of the tings hapenning (zx would noe)
my current feeling
is this

i duno wen i will get over stuffs
i hope i can get over soon
its so much easier said then done
reali
you peeps are not me
u dun noe how i reali feel
so shuddap to tell me its alrite
i shall
cheer myself up
with this

2008-02-22T00:40:00.001+08:00

this is random
buddd

TADAH

THIS
SO
reminds me of chem lecture and mr lau LOL ;D
:))))

2008-02-21T23:53:00.002+08:00

HELLO agen peeps
saying im totally not sad and depressed now
would be lying haha
bud i shall kae kai yi dian (:
well
at least
I'LL TRY =X

i love talking to zheng xiang(:
in the same boat
alot of tings to sae hahaha
ALL BECOZ OF NATALIE WE COULDNT TALK LONG HAHA
(coz natalie called in to zheng xiang home)
LOLLOL
okayyyyy IM JUZ KIDDING NATALIE!!! hahaha ;D

ANDANDANDAND
SANDRA'S APPEAL TO MJ WAS SUCCESSFUL!
THAT IS SO AWESOME!
AND IT SHOWS THAT PRAYERS WORK!
haha coz ive been praying everynite for her to be able to get in hahaha
SHE'S TAKING BCME4H2 TOO
MOST LIKELY WE WILL BE IN SAME HOUSE
it would be even more awesome if same class>.<
bud i shall not ask for too much LOL =D
and liting's appealing back! according to rachel
NOW
mj is flooded with ahs peeps
LOL

ANDAND
鬥牛·要不要 IS SO NICE!
zi cong ACTED BY LI WEI (realise i put in caps to highlight the point okay nvm if u dun get it LOL)
is soo coooooollll inside awwww
and so sweet!
love the drama and the songs whoosh!
最近還好嗎?

okay i duno wad to blog liao
i have FEEL i will come back to blog
`ciao (:

2008-02-20T18:23:00.002+08:00

HEY!
and so
im gonna be in mj for the next 2 years!
haha
i feel...
neutral bah LOL
juz abit apprehensive if im gonna be a loner agen anot =.=

bud anw
its a sad day for me 2dae
and yesterday
i mean
maybe its jealousy
its like wen u go sch
then u see the ogls
then u'll feel sadded and depressed =(
I CANT HELP IT!!!!
coz i wanted to be an ogl quite badly
urghhh
i duno lah
not being and ogl seems to decrease the chances of being in sc being in other leadership sectors
so im gonna remain
invisible
not outgoing
and a loner agen?
whao GREAT news
haishh

bud anw ZX! we muz encourage each other kae!(:
haishh =(

2008-02-19T18:43:00.002+08:00

inoeyoumightnotbeinagoodmood2dae

bud

i reali felt that i lost my one and onli confidant

=(

MJ it is!

2008-02-14T20:28:00.002+08:00

HEY PEEPS
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY~
HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY~
haha
its the season of spreading the loveeee
anw chionged to prepare all the presents yest
and managed to prepare finish yay(:
then yup went around giving peeps stuffs
and my mortal,charmaine
IS NOT SO TOTALLY NICE!!!!
she gave me like one box of chocs 2dae~!
haha
bud i feel guilty
i never give my angel opps=X
he's zhan hong ermm i duno if spelling correct anot
ahs one luh
mayb i tml gif him sumtin
see if i in good mood anot LOL
AND
our class guys are hopeless
all never give gifts one zZz
onli received frm lionel
i heard frm my fren that her fren in vj
their class guys give them each a winnie the pooh softtoy and card
THATS TOTALLY SO SWEET!
haha
anw sum guy gave flowers to a girl in mj canteen todae
then the wole canteen was like cheering LOL
ooh and i received flowers frm SANDRA
my dear SANDRA
thankyou so much!
LOVE YOU!!!
haha and our class zheng xiang bahiah and WEINENG also receive
SEEE
WEINENG
I WRITE YOU NAME LIAO LAHHHH
IN CAPS SUMMRE
WEINENG IS A NICE GUY
WHO FORCES ME TO WRITE HIS NAME ON MY POST
LOL
where's my bu neng shuo de mi mi u sae can lend me?LOL
okay kidding

er
where was i

ohyah flowers
and me kai limin wanted to go museum to see the greek artefact exhibition
BUD IT WAS CLOSED EARLY TODAY
wth
lol
owells
yup
so
nth to write ler
wanna go do econs and chem liao
whheee
kk
bbye pple~~~~ (: